The Social Experiment
by Jaeme
Summary: Picture this, Elphaba, Fiyero, Galinda and Avaric, in bed, together... A comedy about four of our favourite characters being stuck together for 24 hours. What could possibly go wrong?
1. Roofs and Ladies Undergarments

**Hey fanfictionaires! I know I should be working on my other stories but this bunny was very insistent that I write about it!**

**Disclaimer: It's sad, ('tis 'tis) I do not own the marvelousness that is Wicked :(**

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><p><strong>Roofs and Ladies Undergarments<strong>

Picture this, Elphaba, Fiyero, Galinda and Avaric in bed, _together_.

'I can't believe I let you people drag me into this.' Said Elphaba looking over at Fiyero lying next to her.

'Oh, I don't know, I'm quite enjoying myself.' Said the prince with a cheeky grin making Elphaba roll her eyes and go back to ceiling staring.

'I agree with Fifi!' squealed Galinda, attempting to raise her hand in agreement but failing because they were attached. Even though it was practically the middle of the night she was loud and bubbly as ever, making everyone wince and shush her.

Avaric just snored.

'How the hell can that idiot sleep?' asked the green girl who was attached to Fiyero.

'I'm not sure how he does it but he's doing it.' Said Fiyero who was attached to Galinda (much to his annoyance and her pleasure).

'You know guys,' started Galinda, making Fiyero look over at her and Elphaba sit up slightly to look over Fiyero, 'We would never have found out so many great things about each other if we hadn't done this!' The blonde exclaimed, too loud again, trying to gesture again with her arms but not succeeding because they had a prior engagement.

Avaric still snored, attached to Galinda.

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><p>It was a bright and sunny day at Shiz University, the birds were singing, the lawn was mowed and Fiyero was hanging upside down from a tree branch by his toes. Luckily for the prince, his lowly roommate happened to be walking by.<p>

'Hej!' called Fiyero, just hanging on to consciousness as all the blood in his body rushed to his head, 'Coog du helb me down Av?'

Tut tutting to himself, Avaric strolled over to Fiyero taking his time and said, 'What did you do to upset the green bean now?'

'Warn't Erfaba dat pu me a ere.' Fiyero tried to say through the haze that was his mind and turn and see what his roomie was doing when he plummeted to the ground with a yelp and a thud.

'Let me guess, you stole her class notes?' Fiyero shook his head, 'Set them on fire?' Head shake, 'boiled them for you morning tea?' Mc Head Shake meal, 'Made origami?' Head Shake Sigh combo deluxe with extra cheese and large frozen coke ' …Wait, huh? The artichoke didn't put you up there?' Face palm supreme, 'Who did?'

'Nyada da Horigabil,' slurred the scandalicious one groggily as he rubbed his head to try and stop it throbbing.

'Madame Morrible?'

'What! No, not Madame Morrible.' Said the prince coming back to his senses, 'Ne-' he stopped and glanced around to check if the said person was in range, 'Nessa the Horrible put me up there.'

'Nessa? But she's in a wheelchair.' Offering his hand for the prince to get up.

'You'd be seriously surprised at what that girl can do in that wheelchair of hers.' Said Fiyero taking the proffered hand.

'Why'd she put you up there.' Asked Avaric.

'You don't want to know, but it includes Nessa's sparkle shoes, deodorant, a jet ski and Madame Morrible's garden gnome collection.'

'Madame Morrible has a garden gnome collection?' asked Avaric not at all puzzled by the appearance of a jet ski in the conversation.

'Mmhmm, specifically Mr Toddlewaddle.' Said Fiyero walking away from the conversation to go find his shoes that he had last seen on the roof of the library.

Elphaba was in the library reading peacefully when Fiyero walked in barefoot and red faced. She barely glanced up as he when to the window and opening looking up at the roof and walked back into the library. She still didn't look up as Fiyero walked out of the library and arrived a few seconds later holding a large ladder and a length of lead piping. She only looked up when he walked out and came back with a tub of ice-cream, a large bottle of ginger beer and a long beget with a rubber duck balancing on top.

Not caring what these things were for she immediately recognised the matter of rule breaking going down, 'No food or drink in the library Fiyero.' She said as he passed by once more, 'and I have a funny feeling that ladders are against the rules too… and rubber duckies.'

'Oh, but I need to get my shoes down from the roof.' Said Fiyero putting the stuff he was carrying down by the window.

'And all that stuff will help you how?' asked Elphaba pointing to the pile of stuff that had accumulated on the floor near the window.

'Well, I'm always prepared for anything.'

Elphaba got up and walked over to the pile of stuff and gingerly picked up a pair of rather lady like underwear with a smirk, 'And these will help you how? Are you planning on get all that stuff and a friend up onto the roof?'

Fiyero yelped at the sight of the underwear trying to snatch them back but Elphaba danced away just in the nick of time, 'Those aren't mine or anything! I uh, have no idea where they came from!' said Fiyero taking a lunge.

'Riiiiight…' smirked Elphaba as she saw the panic on Fiyero's face and dodged quickly away.

And so the pair performed an odd dance as Fiyero grabbed for the "manly" underwear and Elphaba keeping them just out of reach. That is until Galinda arrived on the scene.

You can imagine what Galinda was thinking when she arrived (no wait, you probably can't… oh well) seeing her best friend holding a thong away from her desperate boyfriend. She simply stood for a moment in shock as the pair continued to dance. Finally finding her voice she spoke, or more shrieked, 'What the hell are you two doing!' But of course, she didn't say 'hell' now did she?

The pair froze, or attempted to freeze in Fiyero's case as he was mid lunge and in an act to stop himself crashing he held out his hand to stop himself hitting Elphaba, which caused the two to fall unceremoniously to the floor, Fiyero on top with his head to fall against a rather inappropriate place on the green girl's chest.

She looked down in shock at him for a moment then managed, 'Do you mind?' Smiling sheepishly Fiyero got off her and offered her his hand, into which she promptly thrust the undergarment and got up herself. Hurriedly he stuffed them into his pocket before anyone else saw.

Putting her hands on her hips, Galinda looked at them expectantly, 'Well?' the guilty pair shuffled like naughty school children under a teachers gaze

Elphaba, forever the good little child, cracked almost immediately, 'Fiyero was trying to get his shoes off the roof.' Fiyero just nodded.

'He was going to get his shoes off the roof with a thong?' asked Galinda incredulously.

'And a beget, some lead piping, ice-cream, a bottle of ginger beer and-'

'Don't forget Ducky.' Said Fiyero having somehow conjured up the rubber duck from nowhere held it up and gave it a squeeze making the little thing squeak and squeal.

'Wow,' said Elphaba, mildly impressed, 'That thing sounds just like Galinda in her sleep.'

'Really?' said Fiyero looking at the duck and giving it another squeeze.

'Yeah sounds exactly like that,' Elphaba then proceeded to do an impression of Galinda in her sleep, somehow pulling off the sound and the dopy smile that was permanently plastered across sleeping Galinda's face perfectly.

'Hello I'm standing right here you know!' said the blonde… she was promptly ignored.

Fiyero laughed, 'You do that so well.'

'Yeah, it's not like I stay up at night and watch her sleep or anything…' Shifty eyes and awkward silence followed.

'So…' said Fiyero, breaking the silence that had been too long and too awkward for everyone's comfort, 'What were you coming to tell us Galinda?'

'Well!' exclaimed Galinda snapping back to her usual bubbly self, 'A good friend of mine in the Psychology class-' Elphaba and Fiyero sniggered .

'_She needs friends in that area.'_ whispered Fiyero to Elphaba and they both sniggered again, the comment sailed straight over Galinda's head.

'-has asked me to help them with a social experiment and they need four people and I thought you two would like to help me!'

The two askees glanced at each other, any such suggestion from Galinda was more of an order than a question, so both grudgingly agreed.

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><p><strong>How did you all like it? Don't forget to tell me about it by filling in that little box just below!<strong>


	2. The Fourth Person

**Okay people! The not so long awaited next chapter of my story! I'm on a roll!**

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><p><strong>The Fourth Person<strong>

'So what exactly am I getting myself into here Galinda?' asked Elphaba as the trio walked to the Main Hall where Galinda's friend was waiting.

'Umm, I'll tell you when we sit down,' said the blonde, noticing Elphaba's look she quickly added, 'I'm sure you'll be fine with it!'

'Wait a minute,' started Fiyero and the girls stopped and looked at him, 'I was just thinking-'

'Gasp! It's a miracle! He haz vinally taken to uzink zat brain ov hiz!' exclaimed Elphaba.

'What's with the accent?' asked Galinda.

'You like it? I've been working on it for a while.' Answered the green girl.

'It's very good.'

'Thank you Galinda.'

'HELLO!' Fiyero practically yelled as he leapt between the two girls, 'I was just saying what I thought of, remember?'

'Oh yeah, sorry dearest, you keep going.' Said Galinda patting his arm.

'Thank you,' he said shooting a pointed look at Elphaba who had crossed her arms and was staring at him expectantly, 'I just realised that Galinda said we needed four people and we only have…' he paused and counted how many people were there then proceeded to do the maths on his fingers, Galinda watched intently and Elphaba rolled her eyes, '…three people so we need one more.'

'Well done, ten points to Gryffindor.' Announced Elphaba giving him a mock applause.

'Gryffindor?' asked Galinda.

'I have no idea where that came from.' Said Elphaba with a frown.

'And I thought I was the one who needed help.' Mumbled Galinda to no one in particular, but Elphaba heard, 'What?'

'Nothing! Nothing, I just said that I caught a bird that needed help that's all.' Shifty eyes and awkward silence followed once more.

Again it was Fiyero who broke the silence, 'Anyway, back to what I was getting at-'

'You're taking your time getting at it aren't you?' Elphaba added with a smirk.

'-we need one more person for this experiment.' Fiyero looked over at Elphaba, his gaze conveying his thoughts, _If we don't get one more person Galinda will kill us._

Funnily enough, Avaric strode around the corner eating a pie just then and stopped midstride and midbite when the experimental trio all turned and stared. Fiyero and Elphaba looked at each other both thinking the same thing_, Another person! _Fiyero was the first to move, or more, run in Avaric's direction.

Avaric looked like a deer caught in head lights, but he did a very undeer-stuck-in-headlights thing, he ran away from the Fiyero-car careening in his direction instead of being turned into Avaric pizza.

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><p>Galinda and Elphaba stood by and watched as Fiyero chased Avaric around the grounds, leaping over benches, small shrubs and Munchkins, jumping from trees in ambush attempts and generally leaving behind a path of destruction. Fiyero eventually just spear tackled Avaric who had successfully maintained a grip on his pie the whole chase only so drop it then.<p>

Seeing the victory, Galinda and Elphaba made their way over to the boys as Avaric struggled to get out from under Fiyero as he sat on his chest, knees pinning his arms saying 'You evil bastard! You made me drop my pie!' Fiyero just smirked down at him.

'You know,' said Elphaba as she and Galinda arrived at the boys, 'That position looks so wrong in so many ways.'

Avaric and Fiyero looked at each other realising what it looked like from the vision of a third party, Fiyero straddling his roommate with face red and hair dishevelled from 'running', and they desperately scrambled away from each other both looking around to see if anyone saw. Unfortunately for them a large group of girls was walking by and saw the whole thing and were whispering and pointing in a way that wasn't suspicious at all...

'Let's just go somewhere quiet where the facts of Fiyero Tiggulaar and Avaric Tenmeadows being gay cannot reach us.' Suggested Elphaba.

'GASP! FIYERO IS GAY?' exclaimed Galinda and her green roomie face palmed.

'I'll explain later sweetie, let's just get to the library.'

'Why the library? Nobody ever goes there!' said Avaric who had given up running away for fear that Fiyero will chase him again and the gayness of the situation would increase.

Elphaba just stared at him pointedly, 'That's the point.'

'Oh… right…' he said when it finally clicked. Fiyero waved at the group of girls, most of whom just made disgusted faces, only a few swooned and only one fainted and rolled down the far side of the hill she had been standing on, much to Fiyero's disappointment. _Dang, usually at least five of my fan girls fall down the hill! This gay rumour is not good for me!_ He thought. He dimly became aware that someone was talking to him.

'Fiyero, Fiyerooooooooooooo! Are you even listening to me?' called the shrill voice of a certain perky blonde, her 'Fiyero' coming out very 'No Good Deed' style.

'Yeah, kinda, I was just thinking that's all.' He replied.

'Wait what!' exclaimed Elphaba mock acting pure shock-horror, 'Fiyero thought again! Something must be terribly wrong! Somebody call a doctor!' she yelled grasping Avaric by the shoulders and shaking him like a rag doll.

'Right!' said Galinda pulling out her phone.

'What no! I didn't mean literally!' Elphaba took the phone off the blonde before she could call the emergency services, 'Let's get to the library before this gets any weirder.'

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><p>'Aaaaah the library, the place where no one goes.' Avaric narrated as they took their seats in the library lounge, 'A place where the only learning that happens is by an OCD green girl who studies for fun.'<p>

'Hey! I'm not OCD.' said Elphaba defensively as she straightened a pile of books on the table, 'How do you even know what OCD is anyway?'

'Well, just because I act stupid and don't listen in class doesn't mean I really am stupid. Besides, dating some of the psychology girls seems to have rubbed of on me.' He said defensively in return.

'Perv…' murmured Fiyero, 'Maybe hanging with the psychology girls will help him psychologically.'

'Any way guys!' butted in Galinda, 'My friend needs four helpers for his experiment and you guys are going to help me!' Again, Elphaba, Fiyero and Avaric looked at each other and realised that it wasn't an ask, it was an order.

'So, what does this experiment contain?' asked Elphaba getting the elephant out of the room.

'Oh not much just us getting handcuffed together for 24 hours.' Replied Galinda airily.

The looks on Elphaba and Fiyero's faces were priceless, Avaric ,who was half way through putting a jelly bean up his nose, sneezed. To everyones total disgust, five things came from Avarics nose, no one saw which was the jelly bean. Much to Galinda's disgust one of the snot/jelly bean things landed in her hair… She did more than scream…

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><p><strong>Hehe Elphaba, elephant… does anybody else find that funny?<strong>

**Elphaba: That's insulting!**

**Sorry, sorry… reviews are much appreciated.**


	3. The Experiment Begins

**Finally I have done the next chapter!**

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><p><strong>The Experiment Begins<strong>

Galinda did more than scream… She did so much more, these things included: _hypersonic_ screaming, running around like a headless chicken, slapping Avaric, then jumping out the window in a fit of hysteria only to be harassed by a mob of woodland creatures and stray dogs attracted by the intense frequency of Galinda's hypersonic scream.

Fiyero, Elphaba and Avaric walked over to the window and watched as Galinda, covered in cute, rabid creatures ran around the Shiz grounds waving her arms about crazily, still screaming, which attracted more little critters that continued to rip apart the pretty blonde's designer 'school' uniform and perfect hair.

'Hey Elphaba?' said Fiyero tearing his eyes from the critter covered blonde.

'Hey yeah?' she replied distractedly turning way from her best friend in need.

'You wanna go out and get a burger?' he asked.

'I don't see why not,' she replied with a smile. Her smile quickly became a frown as she stammered out, 'Not like a date or something, just a burger.'

'Yeah, just a burger.' smiled Fiyero

'So they left, leaving Avaric to his jelly bean damaged nose and Galinda to her animal problem…' Narrated Avaric, 'Or was it an Animal problem? How do you tell the difference between an Animal and an animal when talking about them to somebody?'

Avaric thought about this for quite sometime as he ate what he thought was his jelly bean (yes the one that was up his nose) and the remainder of the packet. He eventually arrived at the ultimate conclusion, that thinking was for people with no lives, and that, since he had a life, he would stop thinking altogether.

He was quite proud of himself really.

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><p>Fiyero and Elphaba were at the local burger joint called Oz Burger enjoying their orders. Fiyero had ordered a Large Double Cheeseburger Meal with Chocolate Shake, Elphaba had ordered a considerably smaller and less fattening meal of a Medium Double Cheeseburger Meal with Vanilla Shake.<p>

The pair were happily eating and talking about nothing in particular, when Avaric burst in panting heavily, 'She's coming! Galinda's coming' he announced. Fiyero looked across the table at Elphaba the message her eyes conveyed was enough, _Hide! _So he did.

Fiyero performed a spectacular army roll away from the table but it was ruined when he smashed into another table knocking it over causing a domino effect like no other. First smashing over tables, chairs, people and Munchkins alike, then moving onto more serious stuff like the salt and pepper sachets and large vats of deep frying oil. The oil led to many slips and slides ending in melted rubber shoes and third degree burns so much so, that Avaric, and Elphaba totally forgot about how a critter ravaged Galinda was on her way. Until of course, she walked, or more stormed, through the door.

Galinda Upland entered the restaurant like a cold wind, her hair was a birds nest, literally, a robin had turned her hair into is nest, her dress was in tatters, she was covered in scratches and her makeup was completely ruined. Put simply, today was not Galinda Upland of the Upper Uplands' day.

'Have fun?' asked Elphaba smiling wryly and letting out a nervous laugh.

Right now, the phrase 'if looks could kill', doesn't cut it. If Galinda's look became a reality, Elphaba would have, in this order: had her head shaved, eyebrows gouged off, finger and toe nails ripped out the Japanese way, been skinned alive, been blown to dust, fused into glass, smashed, atomized, cloned from her previously gouged off eyebrows and had the whole process repeated in a never ending cycle.

'Do I look like I had fun?' growled Galinda, somehow scarier than Elphaba on a bad day, making said person cower slightly.

Fiyero realized everyone else in the restaurant was watching with mild amusement and he laughed nervously at them, 'Nothing to see here people! Just go back to your horrendously fattening burgers.' From the far side of the room, a, uh, large, couple simply shot death stares across the room, half way through their family meal for two.

'Library, now.' Elphaba, Fiyero and Avaric were quick to comply to the blonde's words, as they left Avaric muttered to Fiyero, 'That's what she said…'

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><p>The Library was just as empty as before, Elphaba, Fiyero and Avaric sat in uncomfortable silence waiting for Galinda to arrive.<p>

When she finally did was certainly not her average Galinda self. She had applied more make up than usual, presumably to cover the numerous rabid squirrel scratches, so much in fact it looked totally emo, dark eye shadow and everything. She glared at them all, daring them to say something. Fiyero, one again, spoke first.

'Hey Glin,' he said in a sad attempt to cheer her up, 'I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere toni-'

She silenced him with a finger, 'Fiyero dearest, we're through.'

'Oh, ok.' He said simply, surprisingly happy at the prospect of not being tied to the blonde anymore.

'Micha come on in here!' she yelled back through the door, a tall Gillikin boy came through the door, he was holding hand cuffs, 'Here are your test subjects,' she said pointing from Fiyero to Avaric to Elphaba then to herself.

'Okay, I'll get to it.' He then proceeded to handcuff Elphaba to Fiyero to Galinda to Avaric, none of them resisted for the fear of facing emo Galinda, 'Now all you guys have to do is survive for 24 hours.' Then he left them in the library.

'So now what?' asked Fiyero swinging his arms practically throwing Elphaba and Galinda across the room.

'Uh, hey guys?' started Avaric.

'Oh no, don't say it!' exclaimed Fiyero.

'What? Say what?' asked Elphaba, Galinda just stared grumpily at the wall.

'I kinda gotta pee…' said Avaric.

'NOOOO!' yelled Elphaba, Fiyero and Galinda who suddenly snapped back to her perky old self.

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><p><strong>Did you all enjoy? Tell us what you think! Come on you can do it just press that button down there!<strong>

**When you do, tell me what you prefer- coffee, tea, hot chocolate, other? I'm a green tea and chai person myself.**


	4. Toodaloo! And the Cafe

**And the next chapter has arrived! Don't forget to review!**

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><p><strong>Toodaloo!<strong>

_So glad I'm not stuck next to Avaric right now_, thought Elphaba as she stood as far away from the wall that Avaric faced, trying to ignore the ceaseless tinkling in the background. The quadruplets had been standing in the men's toilets for five minutes waiting for Avaric to finish.

'Oz man! How long do you take!' Fiyero shouted over his shoulder careful not to look.

'As long as I have to.' Replied Avaric from his position at the urinal.

'Oz this is degrading,' Said Elphaba looking around the excessively clean boy toilets, 'How do you people keep this place so clean?'

'Well we don't really come in here that often…' started Fiyero.

'Wait,' interrupted Elphaba, 'if you don't come in here, where do you go?'

Fiyero quickly changed the topic, 'Well this is on my list of most strange things done at Shiz.'

'Try being me!' Galinda said to him trying to keep her hand cuffed hand as far away from Avaric's nether regions as possible. Elphaba and Fiyero smirked at each other.

The tinkling stopped, 'Done!' announced Avaric.

'Finally!' proclaimed Fiyero.

'Thank Oz!' cried Galinda, 'Quick, to the sink! I need to sterilise my hand!'

The quad where dragged over to the sink by Galinda who hastily washed her hands, 'Oi Av! Do your fly up man!' said Fiyero, 'There's chicks around!'

'Aw woops.' Said Avaric quickly complying. 'Forgot about that.'

'Again…' mumbled Fiyero to no one in particular.

'Again?' said Elphaba looking at Fiyero, confused.

'Trust me, it's not cool when he comes into the dorm after he's been toodaloo.' Replied Fiyero.

Right then, Elphaba's tummy decided to growl, 'Urg, I didn't get to finish my meal at Oz Burger, can we got to the cafeteria and get something to eat now?'

'Good idea!' exclaimed Galinda, her heavy make-up total clashing with her back-to-perky self, 'I'm hungry too!'

'So the four skipped off into the midday sunset towards the cafeteria.' Narrated Avaric.

'Dude, what's with you and happytising and narrating everything we do?' questioned Fiyero.

'Because I feel like it.' He replied.

Before Fiyero could say anything Galinda shot in, 'Don't you dare say anything about that's what he slash she said!'

This earned sniggers all round.

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><p>Arriving at the cafeteria was no easy feat. When your attached to three other people life most definitely has its limits.<p>

All was going well until Fiyero and Avaric decided that it was time to swing Galinda between them like a three year old, which she loved. Galinda giggled like… well, Galinda, and surprisingly nothing bad happened, that was the highlight of the walk to the cafeteria.

Nothing bad happened, nothing at all… excluding the fact that Elphaba got smashed when Fiyero and Avaric ran forward with Galinda swinging her forwards, half leaving Elphaba behind, but since they were attached she whiplashed behind them and go smashed by Galinda on the back swing causing all four to fall in an unceremonious pile on the pavement. Once again, Fiyero landed on Elphaba, this time in a sitting position on her stomach.

'Get the froob off of me Fiyero!' but of course Elphaba didn't say 'froob' now did she?

'Aww, but I'm comfy!' he said practically bouncing on her tummy, 'And besides,' he began to bounce up and down like a three year old and waving his arms around which affected Elphaba and Galinda by making them swing around on the ground as Fiyero sang, '_You know you love me! You know you care! Just shout-'_

'Shut up and get up!' she yelled practically convulsing in an effort to get him off her.

'Okay, okay!' he said, fearing the wrath of the Green Machine. Getting up he used his attachment to the green girl (**hehe he's attached to her, get it!**) to help her up and Galinda too.

'Thanks plenty dearest!' said Galinda jumping up to give Fiyero a kiss on the cheek.

'Uh hey Galinda, we broke up remember?'

Galinda almost fainted, 'Your breaking up with me?' she began to hyperventilate.

'Uh Galinda, you broke up with him.' Elphaba added supposedly helpfully.

'No no no no no no no…' was all Galinda could say as the realisation that she had broken up with her perfect other half hit hard and she began to breath really fast.

'Galinda don't hyperventilate!' said Elphaba attempting to calm her blonde friend down.

'Gasp! What's hyperventilating?' the blonde answered/asked.

'It's when you take in too much oxygen.'

'Gasp! Is that bad?'

'Yes you can faint!'

'Gasp! Real-' and she fainted being held up only by the bonds to Fiyero and Avaric.

'Sooooo…' said Avaric as they stood around, 'What happened to going to get food?'

'Nothing happened, lets go.' Said Elphaba.

'And the quad, dragging a still fainted Galinda along behind them headed off to the cafeteria for some food.' Avaric, once again, narrated.

'Stop narrating man!' growled Elphaba from her side of the line.

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><p>'What shall we order?' asked Fiyero as the waiter arrived at their table. They had, instead of going to the dodgy Shiz cafeteria, gone to the nearby Golden Cauldron Café because of Galinda's, uh, condition.<p>

'I'll have a steak burger.' Said Avaric.

'I'll have the same, what about you Elphie?' asked Fiyero.

'Don't call me that _Fifi. _I'll have the salad.' She said.

'Gasp! She's eating her own kind!' yelled Avaric mock scrambling away from Elphaba the Cannibal.

'Oh haha…' the green girl said sarcasm dripping like the world's largest leaky tap after a freak storm. Galinda chose that moment to wake up.

'Urg.. what happened?' she asked groggily.

'You hyperventilated.' Replied Fiyero.

'Gasp! Really…' she fainted again.

'You know what guys,' Started Elphaba turning to the boys, 'I think this is going to be a very long twenty-four hour experiment.' The boys nodded in agreement.

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><p><strong>YAY for this chappie! Finally finished it and wondering what I'm going to do next… *thinks*<strong>

**I just realised that I never told you what getting your finger nails pulled out the Japanese way was for all who don't know! It's when the torturer puts bamboo seeds under your finger nails and they grow so fast that they're imposible to get out and they eventualy grow into your finger and push your finger nails off :D**

**yay you probs just learnt something new!**


	5. The Things That Would Make Him Stop

**And the next chapter that isn't really that funny or good is up! BOO-YAH!**

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><p><strong>Things That Could Make Him Stop<strong>

After eating at the café , the quadruplets began the walk back to Shiz for no particular reason. Fiyero, being Fiyero, quickly got bored of walking in silence and decided to sing his signature song, '_Dancing through life, skimming the surface, gliding where turf is smooooth_-'

'Is that the only song you know?' asked Elphaba cutting the prince off mid note.

'No… _Dancing down roads, attached to three people_-' he sang.

'Is that the only tune you know?' asked Elphaba.

'If you don't like it then don't listen.' Said the Vinkin crossing his arms forgetting he was attached to two slight girls swinging them around and into each other once more.

'We're all attached remember.' Elphaba shot a pointed look at her blonde roommate

Galinda just smiled, 'Well I think it sounded lovely Fifi.'

'Galinda you're not a couple anymore, remember?' added the green girl.

Galinda looked momentarily like she was about to hyperventilate again but then she stopped and looked at Avaric who was shoving another jelly bean up his nose, if she wasn't already off him she was now, 'Well I'm still his friend right dear?'

'Yeah Galinda, you'll always be my friend.' Replied Fiyero.

'If you insist on singing could you at least sing a different song?' asked Elphaba as Fiyero began to hum his theme song.

'Okay!' Fiyero frowned as he tried to think of a new song, '_Nothing has changed within me, everything is just the same, I'm through with changing for the will of some girlfriends claims,'_

'Well I've never heard that one before…' said the green girl to Galinda, 'I might use it in the future.'

'_I think I'll try dancing through life,'_

'Wow that's high…'

'_Can't go this high when I'm dancing through life, and you can't make me stop!'_

'I'm not sure about that line.' Said the green girl.

'_I'm- _Wait what?' asked Fiyero.

'I said that I could make you stop singing and I just did.' She replied. In response Fiyero started singing again.

'_I'm through accepting rumours, coz the gossips girls say they're so…'_ the prince sang.

'Okay I'm over this,' said Galinda as Fiyero continued to sing, ignoring the world, 'How do we make him stop?' she asked Elphie.

'_Some things I'd like to change, but till they do I just won't!'_

The green girl thought for a moment, 'Well, there are several things that would make him stop…'

'For instance?' asked the blonde attempting to cover her ears as Fiyero reached another high 'dancing through life' moment.

'Well, missing fingers, broken legs, lung cancer, random cravings, swamped by fan girls, sudden loss of his belt, hanging from his toes from the ceiling, shoving a pen up his nose,' she looked at Avaric when she said this, 'the Unnamed God smites him, snow leopard attack but that's unlikely because of the season, my pet Goldfish-'

Galinda interrupted her besties random rant to say 'What?' at the mention of a goldfish. Elphaba continued on like nothing had ever happened.

'-Royal invitation, his shoe laces get tied together, car accident, internal haemorrhaging, cardiac arrest, snapped vocal chords, Oscar nomination, Sam Kekovich, a shark attack, loose panda, some random Asians, breakfast at Tiffany's,' Fiyero had long since stopped singing and was watching Elphaba in horror as she continued to prattle off the numerous things that would stop him singing, 'Cannibalism, a trip to the dentist, going to Europe 1939, attack of the killer bunnies,' nervous smile at Galinda, 'Dancing lessons, having a whiteboard fall on him from great height, blood loss, this list and abrupt nasal combustion.' She stopped and smiled widely at the group.

Fiyero's jaw couldn't go any lower, 'Abrupt nasal combustion? Your pet goldfish?' Elphaba smiled evilly at him.

'It's Goldfish with a capital 'G' and it's crazy.' She explained, then walked ahead of them all dragging them behind her, 'If you hadn't stopped singing I would have let him loose.'

Galinda, Fiyero and Avaric looked at each other and walked after the green girl. They walked in silence for a while until Avaric asked the question on everyone's minds, 'Who's Sam Kekovich greenie?'

'He's a Lambassador from Australia. He tells people to eat lamb so I don't like him that much.'

'Still confused, the other three just shrugged and kept walking after their green brainiac with a knack for disturbing lists.' Avaric narrated.

'GAAAAAH! Stop narrating man!' shouted Fiyero.

'There are several ways that we can make him stop you know,' started Elphaba, 'We could skin him alive, boil him in oil…' Galinda tried to cover her ears but Avaric and Fiyero's arms were too heavy, with flab or ab she didn't know. Avaric pulled out a new packet of 'comfort' jelly beans to try and eat away Elphaba's torturous descriptions and Fiyero started singing again-

'_And you never gonna make MEEEEEEEEEEE STOOOOOOOOP!_'

'I hope your happy!' Galinda shouted at Elphaba who was still rattling off ways to make Avaric stop narrating.

'_MAKE MEEE STOOOOP!'_

'We have to make him-' Galinda yelled over the racket of three voices.

'_STOOOOOP!'_

'STOP!' shouted Elphaba, and everyone did.

'What!' they all asked/shouted at her.

'Gee no need to shout,' she said looking genuinely sad that they had shouted at her.

'We're sorry!' they said/shouted back.

The green girl looked at them sceptical, then turned and with a flourish of her hand said, 'We have arrived at our destination!'

'Before them was Shi-'

'GAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAA!' cried Fiyero as he fell to his knees dragging Elphaba with him as he clutched Galinda's hand in desperation, 'Why me! Why did you have to drag me into this with _him_!' he pointed flinging Elphaba forward.

'Well look at the bright side.' Said Galinda.

'What bright side?' grumbled the green girl from her place face down on the ground, arm floppily extended as Fiyero pointed at Avaric.

'Twenty more hours left and we're separated.' This caused grumbles and groans from all at the prospect of twenty more hours stuck with each other.

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><p><strong>The 'How To Make Fiyero Stop Singing' list was originally longer with a lot of wierd stuff like Justin Beiber and running a marathon so I stopped in fear that the list would be too teidious. I originally came up with Elphaba's list in a Maths lesson where we were asked to list reasons why a netballer couldn't win a game and I covered my page in all these weird little reasons and it was all done in bright yellow gel pen much to my Maths Teacher's disgust :)<strong>

**Oh no fanfictionares! I have run out of random ideas for what should happen to our favourite quad… Help me! Don't forget to review!**


	6. Elephant Guns and Evil OCs

**Sorry this chapter took so long to come but my only excuse is that my life and school got in the way!**

**Prepare peoples for a chapter full of random elephant guns and everyone's most hated OC! YAY!**

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><p><strong>Elephant Guns and Evil OCs<strong>

The four experimentees were sitting on a park bench just off the road near the site of Fiyero's break down. The four were trying to think of something fun to do that would not involve further injuries/break downs and Avaric narrations.

'What time is it?' asked Galinda.

'Well,' started Fiyero, 'We got tied together at midday, it's been four hours since and the sun is on its way down so I'd say it's about…' he counted on his fingers and Elphaba face palmed, 'five o'clock!'

'Sigh… okay…' the pretty blonde sighed.

'We could-' started Elphaba.

'No.' Came the instant triple reply.

'But, you don't even know what I was going to say.' Elphaba sulked.

'We don't need to cos it's almost certainly going to involve the library of forms of work.' Stated Fiyero matter-o-factly.

'I wasn't actually going to mention the library of something to do with work at all.'

'Really? What were you going to say then?' asked Galinda

'I was going to suggest we go back to the dorms and find something to do there.' Said the green girl.

'Oh… okay,' said Fiyero, 'Let's go do that then.'

So they did.

The quad somehow managed to get back to the boys dorm without major accidents of physical or mental proportions. They all stood in the room uncertainly and wondered what to do.

'Sooo… What now?' asked Elphaba, Fiyero and Avaric just shrugged.

'Hey guys?' asked Galinda.

'Yeah?' replied the boys.

'What's with the huge gun on the wall?' said the blonde and Elphaba gasped noticing the huge gun.

'Oh, that's my elephant gun,' said Fiyero, 'I used to have it with me in the Vinkus in case I came across an elephant.'

'That's horrible!' exclaimed Elphaba.

'That's Vinkin tradition.' Said Fiyero simply.

'But it's horriblie slaughtering animals for fun!' Fiyero was surprisingly upset himself to see Elphaba so upset about something. So, he dragged everyone over to the wall where he took down the gun and gave it to Avaric.

'There, I don't own an elephant gun anymore. Avaric does.' In response to this, Avaric looked down at the gun and began polishing the metal lovingly.

'Can we go to our dorm instead please?' asked Galinda, eyeing the gun nervously.

'Ok,' agreed Fiyero, 'If it makes you feel better.'

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><p>Walking over to the girls dorms it was getting quite dark. Galinda looked over at Avaric who was holding Fiyero's elephant gun, 'I don't know why you brought that thing for, you can't shoot elephants at Crage Hall.'<p>

'Why not?' asked the oblivious boy.

'They're out of season.' Said the blonde simply, Elphaba muttered something about self-esteemless girls or something that only Fiyero heard.

'Oh… does that mean I'm going to have to settle for that disgusting cafeteria slop for dinner?'

'Afraid so.' The little blonde nodded.

'Then I'll have to risk it! I'll shoot an elephant out of season!' announced Avaric.

'But you can't shoot an elephant out of season…' and the conversation went on.

Over listening to the rubbish coming from the pair Elphaba turned to Fiyero, 'You know, to anybody who is listening, they should realise that Galinda and Avaric are talking absolute rubbish. As erudite people will realise, there are no elephants in Crage Hall. They are only found in Briscoe Hall, North of a straight line drawn between two points, thus making it the shortest distance.'

Fiyero looked at her oddly, 'You look cute when you explain things you know.' She just stared at him open mouthed and looked as though she was about to slap him.

'…well if that's how it is I can't shoot any.' They heard Avaric say and tuned back into the conversation.

'Yes, well we'd better get moving, I don't want to be caught out here when Morrible come around for lights out.' Said the blonde, for once making sense.

'Me too, I'm wearing a dirty shirt and I'm not all that presentable…'

Suddenly behind them they all head the bang of a door and what sounded like a scurry of footsteps.

Looking behind them they all thought the same thing, _What the heck was that!_ They were answered when from around a corner came a sprinting red haired, anti-flaw, perfectly figured girl, her hair flowing behind her majestically as she ran and somehow managed to elegantly crash tackle Fiyero to the floor taking all attached with them.

'Hey there Fiyero,' smiled the perfect girl down at the prince beneath her, 'I heard that you and _Galinda_,' she practically spat the name like a globule of green mucus she just coughed up, 'broke up.'

'Uh, hi Mary Sue… and before you ask I'm not going to go out with you.' Said Fiyero looking up awkwardly at the pretty girl on his chest.

Mary Sue's perfect lips pouted in a perfectly cute way that made Elphaba feel like hurling, 'Aww, are you sure?'

'Yeah I'm sure, as you can see I'm previously engaged.' Said the prince.

Immediately Mary Sue's face darkened and she stood abruptly and stormed off as fast as her perfect little legs could carry her.

Once she was gone, the four got up somehow and looked in the general direction that the Mary Sue had gone.

'Well… that wasn't weird at all.' Said Avaric who had been attempting not to drool at the sight of the perfect girl. He then turned to Fiyero, 'Dude… you let her get away!'

Fiyero just shrugged, 'I have my eye on someone else.'

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><p><strong>Just so you know, an erudite person is nothing bad! It means a well learned person or scholar. And that little section with the elephant gun is a stolen idea from Series 2 Episode 5 The Dreaded Batter-Pudding Hurler, The Goon Show. Review please!<strong>


	7. Awkward Critters and ChipDip

**I finally finished this chapter! *sigh* now I can start on the next one :D**

**This chapter is considerably better than past chapters cos I was bored in English and my sick mind got the better of me :P**

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><p>The four were sitting in the girls dorm bored as always. They sat around a bit more until Galinda spoke up, 'Hey Elphie, you want to mess about with the boys?'<p>

You must understand that, to Elphaba and anyone else concerned, that sounded very wrong indeed.

Seeing her roomie and the boys-in-the-room's faces, Galinda quickly added on, 'Like I played with you after that night at the Oz Dust!'

Jaws dropped and looks were exchanged between the boys as Galinda grew more flustered, 'You know what I mean! Play around with their hair and clothing…' Galinda stopped there, she had just realised what was wrong with what she was saying.

Avaric was in the process of whacking his forehead with his hand repeating over and over, 'Stop thinking, don't think about that, that's not right…', Fiyero was attempting to regain control of his jaw so it would stop banging on the floor whenever he moved and Elphaba had buried her face in her hands with the hopelessness of it all.

In a final ditch Galinda simply said, 'I'm just going to shut up now!'

But it was too late, Fiyero was singing, '_So if you care to stop me! Fling some cake at me! I might just gobble it up, in front of all the fat guys in the room!'_

'What?' shouted Elphaba over the racket at the same time Avaric shouted, 'I want cake!'

Fiyero stopped singing and everyone looked at Avaric, even Avaric looked at himself through Galinda's full length mirror, 'Hey sexy,' he said and winked to himself.

'O…k…' said Elphaba slowly, 'Awkward turtle…' she then made and awkward turtle with her hands.

'Oh my Oz!' exclaimed Fiyero, 'That's so random and cute!'

'I know right?'

'Yeah, where did you see that?'

'It was a Munchkin thing when I was little.'

'Hehe, you stole a Munchkin hand sign.'

'Maybe…'

'Okay…' interrupted Galinda, 'Sorry to stop the mini love fest-' Elphaba and Fiyero looked at each other and shifted slightly, '-over a hand turtle,' Fiyero smiled and Elphaba turned a darker shade of green than usual, Galinda remained oblivious, 'I think we should play a game.'

'What game?' asked Avaric.

'Well, I was going to suggest spin the bottle, but I know Elphie won't like that so…' the blonde tilted her head and stuck out her tongue in a picture of supremely cute thoughtfulness, 'We could do some karaoke?'

There was a collective grumble about singing badly (directed at Avaric), being a sore loser (Avaric), bad dancing (Avaric), and drunken stripping (Galinda… ?).

Somehow, nobody seemed to notice that Fiyero had said 'drunken stripping Galinda' out loud and continued grumbling about nonsense.

'Hey guys, I'm hungry.' Announced Avaric.

'Me too,' agreed Fiyero, 'You guys got a bar fridge in here or something?'

Elphaba nodded and pointed to the little bar fridge that sat by the far wall. Fiyero went to stand but was yanked back by his bonds.

'A bit tied up there Yero?' asked Elphaba.

The prince attempted to spin around but only succeeded in twisting his arms around himself in a rather painful way, but somehow managing to twist his buff princelyness enough to glare at the green girl's smug face.

'You called me "Yero",' he said to her sitting back down on the bed so he didn't hurt his buffness anymore by twisting too much.

Elphaba shrugged, 'I guess that two syllables are easier to say than three.'

'True.' Fiyero agreed.

They all sat for a bit the Avaric spoke up, 'Can we go to the fridge now?'

Elphaba sighed, 'Fine.' So they all got up and shuffled over to the bar fridge, which Avaric opened and plunged into pulling Galinda forward and smashing her blonde head against the edge of the fridge, she yelped and pulled back but Avaric was oblivious and continued to rummage with just one hand.

After a while, Fiyero spoke up, 'Anything good bro?'

'Uh… we got chip-dip?' came the reply from the fridge goer.

'Sounds good, you guys got any chips?' asked Fiyero to Galinda.

'Yeah, they're on top of the fridge,' she said pointing to the chips at eye level with Fiyero.

'Oh yeah,' said Fiyero sheepishly and grabbed a packet of corn chips, 'C'mon Av, open the dip already.'

'Okay, okay, calm your farm,' said Avaric and he gave the lid a hearty twist. He grunted and groaned with the effort, his face going bright red. Eventually, Avaric gave up and, panting, handed it over to Fiyero, 'Dude, that thing is stuck tight!'

'Let me try,' Fiyero handed the now-open chip packet to Avaric and took a grip on the dip jar. He too grunted and groaned with effort as he hopelessly twisted and pulled at the lid. With a defeated, 'GAAAAAH!' he flung the stupid thing against the floor where it bounced and settled totally unharmed.

'You know guys,' started Elphaba, 'to anyone listening in, that would have sounded sooo wrong.'

Fiyero immediately spun to the door and shouted, 'Nothing happened! It was just some chip-dip!'

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><p>Just outside the door, Madam Morrible had heard every damning sound then something about chip-dip… she just shrugged and walked off.<p>

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><p>Looking down at the jar, Galinda picked it up and gave it a half-hearted twist… to no avail, 'Here Elphie, your our only hope!' she said handing the dip the her green friend, 'Use your magic to open the chip-dip!'<p>

Elphaba looked over the jar, then at her friends, then back at the jar and twisted the lid off with a satisfying pop. She smirked at their shocked expressions, 'But, huh, wha… how!' stumbled out Fiyero.

'You guys were twisting the lid the wrong way.' Said the green girl matter-o-factly. She smugly took a chip off Avaric and dipped it into the sauce chomping down with a satisfied smile.

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><p><strong>Did you guys like that? Don't forget to review!<strong>


	8. Annoying Little Sisters and Aromas

**Sorry for the late update guys but I lacked motivation and ideas. This chappie isn't as good as some of the others but as I said, I'm severly lacking in the ideas department… enjoy :D.**

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><p>Nessarose wheeled herself around the girl's dormitory. She was on her way to pay her sister a late night visit, just for the heck of it. As she wheeled closer, she heard music and voices from her sister's room. In fact, there were many different voices talking.<p>

'Shut up and give that to me!' said a voice, harsh and female. Definitely Elphaba.

'Let go, you'll break it!' screeched a rather trill voice. If Nessa hadn't know Galinda, she would have thought a chipmunk was having a rage.

'But I'm having so much fun!' replied a different voice, deeper more male. In fact it sounded suspiciously like Fiyero.

_Wait, _thought Nessa to herself, not like she could think to anyone else, _Fiyero in Elphaba's room… and there's no blood seeping under the door… _her mind then wandered to the event from earlier that day and wondered if Fiyero ever got his shoes back.

She wheeled right up to the door and attempted to press her ear against the wood. Listening closer she heard the rest of the conversation unfold.

'Whose idea was it to do this anyway?' said Elphaba.

Silence, Nessa guessed they were glaring at each other.

'Well it was a good idea at the time.' Whined Galinda.

'It was pretty fun though.' This was a different voice that Nessa wasn't familiar with.

'True, although you did sound like a dying walrus Av.' Fiyero, the fourth voice rose in indignation.

'Dying walrus my-'

'And then my sister decides to make an appearance.' Called Elphaba.

It took a moment for Nessa to realise that her older sister had been addressing her through the door, so she opened the door and wheeled herself in, 'How did you know I was out there?'

The four all looked over their shoulders to look at Nessa.

'I'm just that awesome.' Elphaba said modestly.

'Right, like that explains anything…' Nessarose looked at the four standing in front of an impossibly small portable TV holding microphones, she addressed Fiyero first, 'I see you got new shoes.' She said bluntly.

'Yeah well, since you so brilliantly threw my other shoes onto the library roof I had to acquire new ones.' Replied the prince, his voice hinting to sarcasm.

'Oh wow, you sounded a bit like me then.' Elphaba noted.

'I did didn't I?' said Fiyero thoughtfully, 'I'm yet to decide if that's a bad thing or not.' He received a sharp punch to the shoulder after that comment.

'Why are you doing karaoke?' asked Nessa, and then she noticed the bonds, 'And why are you all attached to each other?'

Three of the experimentees pointed accusingly and one raised their hand sheepishly, guess which ones which.

'Ok… and this was Avaric's idea how?' asked Nessa.

'Well- wait, Avaric's idea?' said Fiyero shocked, Elphaba too spun and gaped at Avaric who was whistling and trying to look innocent.

Fiyero and Elphaba looked at each other, stood up and faced Galinda and Avaric who sat sheepishly on Galinda's frilly bed, 'Explain!' they demanded towering over their sitting companions menacingly.

'Well, that's an interesting asking you've got there,' stuttered out Galinda, 'Isn't it Avaric.'

'Wha- well, uh, yes. It is isn't it Galinda.' Stuttered back Avaric.

'Yes it is, maybe we should explain Avaric.'

'Maybe we should Galinda.'

'That would be an idea Av-'

'Stop passing the cheese and get on with it!' exploded Elphaba. Fiyero glanced at Elphaba and mouthed "cheese" at her, she just shrugged and went back to being menacing.

'I'm not passing the cheese, are you Avaric?'

'I most certainly am not! Are you Galinda?'

'I-'

'If I don't get an answer soon, then you-' she pointed a long green finger at her blonde friend, '-will never find any of your "beauty" products ever again. And you-' she pointed the same at Avaric, 'Will find that the ability to have children will never again be in your reach, understood?'

They both quickly nodded and explained that, "In an attempt to gain greater marks in psychology", Avaric had called upon his friend Micha to, "Contribute his grey matter to the cause", by "Creating a means of impressing the Professor". It was then decided that, "Since the majority of the student body greatly dislikes Avaric", and would "Never be willing to accept any proposal from his overly large maw", that they "Should call upon a lady of higher status to lend a hand", and the only person Avaric knew would help him was "Miss Galinda Upland of the Upper Uplands".

'Well now I know what's happening.' Stated Nessa blandly.

'Urg! I would never have agreed to this if I knew Avaric was the cause!' cried Elphaba flopping back onto the bed, Fiyero nodded absently, he was currently thinking of several different, unique ways to kill Avaric (see chapter 5 for list of things Fiyero was thinking about).

'Well…' said Nessa slowly, 'I'm just gonna go now…' she began wheeling herself backwards not looking where she was going until her chair with wheels bashed into the wall with considerable force causing a loud thud and a jingle of expensive bottle and assorted beauty products on the shelf above her making Galinda gasp dramatically.

Time slowed to a crawl as the bottles on the shelf fell towards Nessa. In fact, time appeared to go so slow that Galinda had time to procure her phone (with internet connection) and Google the "Instant No Button" and press it to fill the room with epic music and a sorrowful, epic "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The wheelchair ridden girl gave a half yelp, half scream as she was showered in glass bottles that exploded their exotic contents everywhere on contact and small boxes that combusted into mushroom clouds of powder.

When the clouds had settled and the general long-time-smoker coughing had ceased, Elphaba and Galinda where both on the brink of breakdowns.

'My sister!' exclaimed Elphaba.

'My expensive stuff!' exclaimed Galinda.

'My beautiful snoz!' exlcaimed Fiyero.

Avaric sneezed.

Both girls scuttled around/over the bed dragging the boys behind them, in a effort to see the damage done to both the cripple and the aromatic substances.

Nessa had been knocked unconscious by the bottles and was covered head to toe in powder and stains and the disgustingly over powering scent of a dozen different fragrances mixed four stood as close as they dared.

'Is she dead?' asked Fiyero cautiously, trying to mask the look of hope on his face.

'Nah man, she's breathing.' said Avaric.

'We need to move her.' stated Elphaba. The others turned to look at her in shock.

'What? the green girl asked, 'She's my sister and I love her and all but I don't want to be here when she wakes up.'

Several heads gave nods of agreement.

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><p>The four experimentees had soon wheeled Nessarose out of the girls dorms and into the gardens of the night.<p>

'I don't know how she's still sleeping with that stench.' said Elphaba.

Galinda, who had recovered somewhat from the ordeal spoke up, 'There's a mild sleeping draught mixed into all that.' Seeing the puzzled faces looking at her she added, 'You know after a big night out, you arrive home but your too excited to sleep?' Fyero and Avaric nodded, Elphaba just busied herself with making her sister comfy, but trying not to get any Galindafied smells on herself. So she wasn't doing much. 'Yeah, well, I need my beauty sleep so I take that draught and it makes me all sleepy so I wake up as marvelous as ever!' she tossed her hair and giggled cutely.

'Right,' Elphaba's voice interrupted Galinda's moment of supreme cuteness, 'are we going to stand out here in the cold or go inside?'

There were several votes for going inside.

Fiyero yawned and stretched causing Galinda and Elphaba to stretch as well, 'Dude I'm tired. I think it's bed time.'

The four looked down at their bonds and then at the people next to them. Eventually the silence was broken by Elphaba, 'Well,' she said, 'This should be interesting.'

Fiyero smirked.

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><p><strong>This chappie was more of a filler so I could chew some story time and that the characters would hurry up and go to bed… awkward…<strong>

**The Instant No Button… see my profile for the link to the site.**

**Next chapter includes the very beginning of this story, and the reason Nessa threw Fiyero's shoes onto the roof… stay tuned! It will be SOOO much better than this chapter!**

**Reviews make me smile,**

**So I hope you'll take a while,**

**To write a review,**

**That helps me get through,**

**This case of writers block,**

**That has me under chain and lock.**


	9. Awkward Night and The Makeover

**I AM SO BUNGARY SORRY THIS WAS SO LATE! ARG FACE! I have absolutely NO excuse what-so-ever. Please forgive me! *gets down on knees and grovels***

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><p>Picture this, Elphaba, Fiyero, Galinda and Avaric in bed, <em>together<em>.

'I can't believe I let you people drag me into this.' Said Elphaba looking over at Fiyero lying next to her.

'Oh, I don't know, I'm quite enjoying myself.' Said the prince with a cheeky grin making Elphaba roll her eyes and go back to ceiling staring.

'I agree with Fifi!' squealed Galinda, attempting to raise her hand in agreement but failing because they were attached. Even though it was practically the middle of the night she was loud and bubbly as ever, making everyone wince and shush her.

Avaric just snored.

'How the hell can that idiot sleep?' asked the green girl who was attached to Fiyero.

'I'm not sure how he does it but he's doing it.' Said Fiyero who was attached to Galinda (much to his annoyance and her pleasure).

'You know guys,' started Galinda, making Fiyero look over at her and Elphaba sit up slightly to look over Fiyero, 'We would never have found out so many great things about each other if we hadn't done this!' The blonde exclaimed, too loud again, trying to gesture again with her arms but not succeeding because they had a prior engagement.

Avaric still snored, attached to Galinda.

The four had moved Elphaba and Galinda's beds together so they could all lie down at the same time without being on the floor or on top of each other… not that the boys wouldn't have minded.

'Name one great thing you've learnt Galinda.' Asked Fiyero blandly.

'Well,' began Galinda, 'I have learnt that…,'

She paused when she saw Elphaba look over Fiyero and shake her head, saying, 'Don't say anything ridiculous or vile to do with the disgusting excuse for humanity lying next to you!'

'Oh, relax Elphaba,' said the little blonde, 'All I was going to say was that you like Munchkin hand signs.'

'Oh… right,' said Elphaba relieved, 'Awkward turtle.' She smiled at the hand sign.

'Hehehe, triple awkward turtle.' Said Fiyero signing it.

'Awkward green bean.'

'Swankified prince.'

'Oh my OZ! How are you guys doing those neat hand signs!' screeched a rather confused loud blonde, to which she received a chorus of 'SHHHHH!'s from her bed companions.

There was a momentary lapse in the conversation.

'Loud, perky blonde.' Said Fiyero.

This brought on the gales of laughter from all awake in the room, and a groan from Avaric as he rolled over, bringing himself onto Galinda's arm and grumbled, 'What's with all the noise?' and promptly fell back asleep.

There was another momentary lapse in which Galinda somehow managed t get the Ozian log off her arm and Fiyero began to smirk evilly, which did not go unnoticed by Elphaba.

'What are you smirking at?' she asked.

In response, the prince sat up slightly and looked over at Avaric, 'Let's shave him.'

Elphaba grinned and Galinda gasped, 'NOOO!'

'Why not?' asked a slightly disappointed Elphaba.

'We have to give him a FULL makeover!' clarified Galinda.

And so they did.

The four somehow got up and dragged Avaric, without him waking up, over to the bathroom where Galinda was in range of everything she would need.

'Alright people!' declared the blonde, 'Let's get to work! Fiyero, you're on hair.' She handed him a battery powered razor, a comb and a pair of scissors. 'Elphie, legs.'

'WHAT!' the green girl's head snapped over to glare at the blonde.

The little Gilikin put her hands on her hips, 'I'd do legs if I wasn't going to be busy doing his face, and I don't want you on face, because, frankly, you suck at makeup.' Elphaba couldn't help but agree. 'Right so, razor or wax?'

Elphaba grinned evilly, 'Wax, it's more painful.'

And so they gleefully, though disgusted at the state of his leg hair, began.

When they were done they took as much of a step back as possible to survey the finished product.

'I'm most surprised at the fact that he didn't wake up after all that.' Said Elphaba.

'He sleeps like a deaf corpse.' Said Fiyero.

'All corpses are deaf Fiyero, their also dead.'

'Then why do the people in zombie movies always make a point to be quite?'

'I don't know! Maybe it's because the people in zombie movies are all thick?'

'That's not very nice to them!'

'Let's just agree that it's the "Magic of the Movies" then.'

'Okay.' And they shook hands, which made Elphaba look like she was some kind of try-hard nerd-come-rapper.

'Can we get some sleep now?' asked Galinda.

'Good idea,' agreed Fiyero and Elphaba nodded, suddenly uber-tired, 'Let's clean-up and then drag this lug back to bed.'

And so they did. When they had finally cleaned the bathroom and gotten back to bed, it was well past midnight. In fact, it was 3 in the morning.

'Good night everyone,' said Galinda.

'G'night.' Said Fiyero, already drifting off.

'Night,' said Elphaba, adding a relieved, 'finally.'

'Hey guys, I just realized we should say 'Good Morning", not "Good night"!' exclaimed the loud, perky blonde.

Fiyero mumbled sleepily and Elphaba just said, 'Good night Galinda.'

Galinda sighed, 'Okay, see you all in a couple of hour's time.' But the words were lost on already deaf ears.

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><p><strong>Finally got it done! YES!<strong>

**Just a reminder that the "Awkward green bean, swankified prince, OMO!" sequence is courtesy of Julia-Caesar (love ya!)…(not in that way!)**

**Now, I have run out of review poems, so I'm using this one from one of my FictionPress buddies… TayRae1901…**

**Oh, Review Box**

**Do you sometimes wish?**

**That darn little review box**

**Would just close itself?**


	10. Waking Up and The Long Walk

****I know there is no way for me to apologise for this being so late. I had planned to have it up on my birthday but that was like, a month ago... hehehe... please don't kill me! ****

**Anyway, this is dragging on a bit… Time to (almost) finish what I started! And FINALLY the reason Fiyero's shoes were on the roof! Yay!**

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><p>Waking up that morning would be an event to go down in the history of four people and the occupants of the neighbouring rooms. It started with a scream from our favourite Ozian. Yes, that's right!<p>

'Oh my FREAKING OZ!' yelled Elphaba straight after screaming. 'Get off me you jerk!'

Fiyero was rudely awakened by this yelling to find he had rolled over and was currently hugging Elphaba, 'But I'm comfy,' he stated smiling roguishly and pulling her in closer. His actions made them both freeze, their face were mere centimetres apart, in fact, the only thing that stopped the scandilicious prince from leaning in was the squeaky yawn then screech from Galinda behind him.

'Oh my OZ Avaric!' she screech in her enraged chipmunk way as Fiyero rolled over and away from Elphaba to see what was happening, 'Why are you hugging me in a suggestive manor?'

Seeing that Galinda and Avaric were in a similar position as she and Fiyero had been, Elphaba muttered, 'Men, so clingy today.'

Fiyero looked at her and smiled, 'Only because we don't want to let you go.'

'Stop being stupid Fiyero,' stated Elphaba then added sarcastically, 'Oh wait, you can't.'

Once everyone had somehow gotten out of bed and straightened their clothing from the previous day since none of them had had showers or changed, it was just about 10 o'clock.

'Gasp! Two hours to go!' Galinda pulled of her signature "Galinda squeal" as she bounced in excitement and lunged for the door, dragging everyone along with her in her rush.

'Galinda, you do realise that getting there faster won't mean getting separated faster right?' stated Elphaba as she handed over the door key, 'We still have to wait until noon.'

'Like that makes any sense.' Said Galinda, opening the door and stepping out.

'Actually, it does.' Said Fiyero.

Galinda though this over and decided that it did make sense, so she slowed down. Funnily enough Avaric still had not noticed his "makeover" and Fiyero and Elphaba were battling with the urge to burst out laughing. Just then Pfannee and Shenshen rounded a corner up ahead gossiping away, but when they spotted Avaric, their jaws hit the ground with a resounding THUD.

'What happened to you?' They screeched in unison to Avaric.

Avaric, who assumed they were talking about being attached to three people said and not the state of his manly-ness, 'A Psychology assignment.'

'But, your hair!' exclaimed Shenshen running up and stroking his head comfortingly and not flirtatiously at all.

'Your face!' cried Pfannee doing the same as her bestie.

'Well- Wait, what's wrong with my face?' asked a suddenly confused Avaric as the three attached to him sniggered. Pfannee pulled out a small compact mirror and held it up to Av's face.

This is what Avaric saw when he looked into the compact: His eyebrows had been waxed and plucked to scalene perfection, his face clear of all acne hidden under a layer of foundation and other fun cosmetics, his once long, brown hair had been shaved down the middle and sides leaving two thin streaks of hair that hung limply from the ties that held them in pigtails.

'My beautiful HAIR!' He screeched after a long pause in which he also noticed his terribly waxed legs. He then fainted in shock-horror. Pfannee and ShenShen, not knowing what to do next, hurried off as fast as their high heels would allow.

There was a momentary silence before Elphaba asked the question that had been on everyone's minds since Chapter 1. Turning to Fiyero she asked, 'Why were your shoes on the roof anyway?'

'Oh, ah, I'm not sure you want to know.' said Fiyero, awkwardly scuffing his shoes as the attention turned to him.

'Yes we do,' said everyone in the room, including Boq.

'Wait! Where did Biq come from?' asked Galinda. The four pin-wheeled around to get a look at the taller-than-average munchkin that had appeared in the hall.

'Woah!' exclaimed Avaric, regaining conciseness.

'Say what?' said Elphaba.

'BEGONE FIEND!' cried Fiyero, throwing his arms into the air, almost dislocating the girls' shoulders and making Boq abruptly disappear.

There was a moment of silence before Elphaba spoke, 'Isn't that a stolen move or something?'

Fiyero just shrugged, 'Eh, it's all Greek to me.'

'Isn't it magic?'

'Same thing right?'

'Not really because Greek is a language of an ancient civilisation and magic is a fictional occurance.'

'Since when were you smart?'

'Since always?'

'… I see your point.'

There was another momentary silence as everyone mentally digested everything that had gone down in the past few minutes. The silence was broken when Galinda cleared her throat and brought the focus back to the matter at hand, 'So Fiyero, why were your shoes on the roof?'

'Okay! I'll tell you!' caved Fiyero, 'I was, uh, in Nessa's room-'

'You were WHERE!' exclaimed Elphaba.

'Let me explain before you get mad and turn me into a scarecrow!'

Elphaba paused and nodded for the prince to continue, eyeing him cautiously.

'Okay, well you see I was dared to steal something precious from an obscure acquaintance. My first thought was you, Elphaba, but then I realised that the only things precious to you were your rights, the library and you best friend, and the only one of those I can steal is Galinda, and I'd already done that.' He shot a charming smile at his ex-girlfriend who smiled back, a little lost.

'I thought we broke up...' said the blonde.

'We did.' Confirmed Fiyero.

'GASP! Your breaking up with me?'

'Oh sweet Lurine.' mumbled Elphaba, 'We've been through this Galinda, remember?'

She immediately stopped hyperventilating, 'Oh yeah.'

'Continue,' said Elphaba to Fiyero.

'Right, okay.' He began. 'After thinking about you, I thought about your sister, who I had met on occasion, and remembered she always wore those overly bright, glass shoes so I figured she must really like them. So I snuck into her room via window, avoiding Madam Morrible and was looking for her shoes when I noticed that they were on her feet. Crazy chick sleeps with her shoes on!' Seeing Elphaba's face he continued quickly. 'I stood over her and went to take her shoes off and she woke up scream the most amazing profanity I have ever heard about rape and molesting and crazy stuff like that.'

There was momentary silence interupted only by the click-clack of Galinda's heels on the pathway, and her eventual voice, 'So she threw your shoes on the roof because she thought you were sexually harassing her?'

'Yeah.'

'When in actual fact you were stealing her shoes?'

'Yeah.'

'Right.'

'Yeah.'

'Stop saying "yeah".'

'Yea- oh sorry.'

Somehow, between the stories and fainting and appearing and disappearing, two hours had passed and they had arrived at the library.

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><p><strong>I was supposed to finish this story in this chapter but it didn't quite turn out that way. So the next chapter probs won't be as funny as the others, there will be moresubstance and stuff like that :P<strong>

**Once again, I'm very sorry. Please be extra nice and write lotsa reviews so I get the FINAL chapter up much sooner than this one! And to help me do this, I need a VERY good beta! Volunteers?**


	11. Freedom to Dance at Elphaba's Wedding

**AN: Forgive me friends, I have little excuse as to the incompleteness of this story other than I was on a harrowing Pokemon journey and got lost. I other words, I had to finish school (I'm done forever!). But now Wicked is returning to Oz and I have injured myself so I can't do anything useful for a while, so I shall write and bring you what you have all been waiting for… The final chapter of the SOCIAL EXPERIMENT! Also, the longest chapter! PS: Does anybody else here lie on the ground when they're frustrated? Because I do.**

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><p><strong>The Social Experiment: Chapter 11 – Freedom to Dance at Elphaba's Wedding<strong>

Finally! The library was within reach for the four shackled friends which meant one very important thing-

"FREEDOM!" yelled Fiyero at the top of his lungs attempting to fist pump and run forward only to be stopped by his feminine anchors.

"HOME!" exclaimed Elphaba, drawing the confused gazes of her peers, "What I mean is that it's _like_ a home to me…"

"Whatever," cut in Avaric, sufficiently recovered from his earlier fainting spell, "Let's go and get unattached."

"You make it sound like we're getting a divorce," mumbled Elphaba.

"Elphie!" Squealed Galinda, horrified, "You didn't tell me you were married to Avaric!?"

"What?!" exclaimed the rest of the group, Elphaba included.

"We're married and you didn't tell me?" Asked a horrified Avaric, pin wheeling the group around so he could look at the green girl on the opposite end of the line better.

"No! I just meant-" protested Elphaba.

"Elphie, it you need someone to talk to about your relationship problems I'm here for you." Said Galinda sympathetically, raising a hand to stroke Elphaba's arm comfortingly, effectively bringing Avaric's arm with her to join the pity party. Meanwhile, Fiyero was lost in the whirlpool of his own shattered dreams.

"I am not married to that jer-!" Before she could finish she was once again cut off by her fictitious husband.

"If I had know I would have treated you better." He said, reaching out in an attempt to take her hand. Recoiling, Elphaba tried to logic her way out of the situation.

"If we are married then where is my ring?" She reasoned, holding up her bare left hand.

"GASP! You didn't even get her a ring?" Cried Galinda, "Shame on you!" She slapped Avaric on the arm bringing Fiyero's hand with hers effectively doubling the pain.

"Ow! I didn't know!" Exclaimed a shocked and pained Avaric, "My whole life is a lie!"

"Will you be needing a lawyer to help sort this out?" Galinda asked, concerned.

"NO!"

Elphaba gave a roar of frustration to the sky and promptly flopped face down on the ground, dragging Fiyero down into a crouch next to her.

Startled out of his misery by this sudden change of position, Fiyero let out a startled yelped, followed by an indignant, "What in Oz are you doing?"

"I'm flopping in despair at your universal stupidity." Came the muffled reply from the flopped green girl.

"You could have given me a little warning." Pouted Fiyero.

Pushing herself up onto her knees, Elphaba delivered her best withering gaze unto Fiyero who instantly stopped his sulking.

Avaric having also recovered from his "wife's" sudden collapse knelt down beside her bringing Galinda along with him. Now the whole group knelt together in a squ-ircle.

"Now it looks like we're having a séance." commented Elphaba dryly, "Where's my pentagram?"

"Woah, since when did you want to summon the dead?" Queried Fiyero, quite distracted from his present emotional turmoil.

"Well, I am a witch aren't I?" Stated the green girl.

"A witch in training." Pointed out Fiyero.

"Maybe I want to test my skills?" Said Elphaba.

"But you don't even believe in spirits!" Countered the Prince.

Opening her mouth and raising a pointed finger to give a witty reply, Elphaba back tracked and frowned, "You got me there." She admitted.

We now take a moment from our story to enter the zone of our favourite Winkie Prince's brain. It was in this moment that something in Fiyero's brain ticked over, telling him that for the first time in his life Fiyero had managed to one-up someone. Unfortunately by the time this information had been processed the moment for an outward victory had passed, so his brain merely began it's own rave party.

Meanwhile, back in the real world Avaric and Galinda were still confused as to when Elphaba and Avaric had gotten married.

"I still don't understand when this happened." Avaric was saying.

"That's because it didn't happen!" cried Elphaba, but she was ignored by her interrogators.

"Does Nessa know?" Asked Galinda.

"For the last time! I am NOT married to Avaric!" Yelled Elphaba.

A shocked silence followed.

"Well that's a relief." Shrugged Avaric suddenly nonchalant about the whole situation.

A still confused yet eternally relieved Fiyero snapped out of his internal rave and decided that it was time to put an end to this silliness once and for all.

"Guys, we are literally five steps away from being free of these cuffs!"

The rest of the group turned and looked up at the looming doors of the Shiz library.

"How did we not notice this?" Wondered Elphaba aloud.

"It's your fault for dropping that bomb shell before!" Exclaimed Galinda far too loudly.

"Who cares let's just go so I can be rid of you people!" Elphaba scrambled to her feet and dragged the rest of the group with her with surprising strength.

As they all stumbled after their green companion, Fiyero couldn't resist the temptation to skip cheerfully and break out into song, "We're off to the library! The wonderful library of Shiz! When we find that guy named Micha we'll be free of this experiment biz!"

"I will forever be impressed by your song creation skills." Elphaba complimented, albeit dryly.

"I shall take that as a compliment." said Fiyero, rather pleased with himself as he continued to skip, jolting Elphaba and Galinda along as they searched the shelves for Micah.

Elphaba was about to form an incredibly witty and exceedingly humorous remark regarding Fiyero's insistence to continually sing and dance making her think of him as being an idiotic farm girl with pigtails and a frilly skirt but was stopped by the sudden appearance of Micha from between the shelves.

All five people froze at the sight of him, well, actually four people. Avaric had discovered a pack of Ozeos on his person and was now blissfully unaware of anything else.

"Well!" exclaimed Micha with fake cheer and a nervous laugh, "I trust you all had a pleasant time?"

Galinda, Elphaba and Fiyero exchanged quick looks before launching themselves - vegan-cookie-consuming Avaric in tow - at the poor boy who had cuffed them together.

***Two minutes later***

"We are going to hide this key in one of the books somewhere in the library." Said Fiyero, looking down at their captive. After they had freed themselves they had used the cuffs to hog-tie Micha to one of the study tables.

"Have fun getting someone to look for you." Galinda added, smirking rather evilly.

"I just realised that now that I'm no longer attached to you people, I can dance freely!" Cried Fiyero completely forgetting what he was just saying he began to shake booty.

"Give the man a medal." Said Elphaba dryly.

Mid-dance he paused, remembering where he was and what he was just saying about hiding keys.

"Elphaba?" said Fiyero turning to their green companion.

Looking up from rubbing the feeling back into her wrists, said companion quirked an eyebrow quizzically at the Prince.

Noting her questioning look Fiyero continued to address her, "Could you please hide this key in one of the books around here. I trust you will hide it well." When he finished talking he held the key out for her to take.

With a wicked grin Elphaba snatched the key from Fiyero's palm and scampered off into the darkest depths of the library, laughing manically all the way.

"But, technically this is all Galinda and Avaric's fault!" cried Micha, "Don't you remember what was said three chapters back?!"

"Mate, I wrote this thing and I can barely remember what went down three chapters ago." Said the author as she grinned apologetically at her characters.

"Woah!" cried Fiyero, "Where did you come from?"

"Umm," the author looked horribly confused, "I'm not actually sure…"

Everyone in the room looked bemusedly upon their author for a few moments before she sheepishly piped up again, "I'm just gonna go." And with those words she disappeared in a puff of smoke back to her domain. The remaining characters continued to look confused for a few moments more before snapping back to what they were doing like nothing had ever happened.

"Avaric, you should probably clean up your face before Morrible sees you bro." said Fiyero, realising that Avaric still bore the scars of their night together.

"Ah, right. Thanks for that bro." replied Avaric as he tentatively touched his clown shaven head and made-up face. He chuckled slightly at his appearance, "Whose idea was this anyway?"

"Oh uh-" began Fiyero but he was quickly cut off by the perky blonde

"It was Fiyero's, dearest." Piped in Galinda, keen to move the blame to the appropriate source.

"Yeah, sorry for that, man." said Fiyero, "Although honestly? It was totally worth it!"

Fiyero began to laugh along

His chuckles died on his lips when, suddenly realising that he was now free of his bonds and that the girls were no longer in the way, Avaric could now release his full vengeance at Fiyero for being the instigator of his "make over". Pig-tails swinging, perfect face twisting, Avaric advanced slowly upon his roommate intending to deliver unto him a similar fate.

Noticing his friend's sinister approach Fiyero's eyes grew wide and he raised his hands in what he hoped was a calming gesture.

"Calm down, man," Fiyero said tentatively, backing up slowly, "Just remember that friendship is magic!"

With a roar of rage Avaric pounced, initiating a chase through the library shelves as Fiyero attempted to hide from the raging beautician's disaster on his tail.

Glancing behind him to check if he'd lost his predator, Fiyero unceremoniously ran into the form of Elphaba who was returning after having successfully hidden the key.

Apologising quickly, Fiyero was just about to continue running when a thought suddenly hit him.

"Oh yeah," he said, turning to the green girl, "Elphaba, will you go out with me?"

Elphaba was shocked into silence, so much so that she simply stared at the Prince before her. Said Prince was getting rather nervous about her silence and the steady approach of the enraged Avaric behind him.

"Uh, an answer would be good about now Elphaba." He said, beginning to shuffle from foot to foot in anticipation.

"Oh," said Elphaba, snapping out of her daze and proceeding to fumble over her words, "Uh, I- Uh…"

Fiyero smiled at her hopefully, "Yes…?"

Elphaba looked him blankly in the eye before smiling apologetically and saying, "Come back next year?"

Fiyero's dreams then crashing into the Bemuda Triangle and sunk to the bottom of the ocean where they got consumed by a giant squid. He stopped shuffling foot-to-foot and stood still, face slack in shock.

He was so shock that he didn't even notice Avaric rounding the shelf and with a triumphant, animalistic roar he launched himself through the air and crash-tackled the Winkie to the floor.

Fiyero barely struggled as Avaric dragged him off to his fate, leaving a saddened Elphaba behind.

With Fiyero now gone and at the mercy of Avaric, Elphaba decided to try and forget the harrowing experience that was the last 24 hours and immerse herself in the study that she missed out on.

While Elphaba was busy reading, Galinda was busy doing her daily beauty routine, being careful of the multiple scratches she received back in chapter three.

Really, life went back to how it was two days ago, with Elphaba, Galinda, Fiyero and Avaric just being a little closer than before.

Oh, and Nessa eventually recovered her senses and decided to forget the whole experience too.

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><p><strong>This was by far my favourite chapter to write. After so long it was such a relief to be back in action and finishing this story, I might be up to writing an epilogue… The truly horrible line said by Elphaba to Fiyero in response to him asking her out is a legit thing that I once pulled when my guy friend asked me out. I felt so bad but I laugh about it now. I'm not sure how he felt about it though… If you've been hanging out with this story from the beginning I'd like to thank you and apologies profusely for taking so long to complete it. Thanks for reading! OH! Don't forget to review!<strong>


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